I am not looking forward to doing another round of colon cleansing. God, I know how starving I'll probably feel when I wake up from my surgery. I'm almost hoping I'll be in so much pain that I won't even want to eat anything.
Then last night although my sciatica went away, I was still having cramps in my left foot. Both my legs were very tender to the touch. I tried massaging it out and doing lunges and stretches, but I'm still so achy. Could be a little dehydration I suppose. I'm still trying to remember to drink extra water.
I also had horrible heartburn.
And there's no nice way of saying this. Gas pains lately have been horrendous. I could understand if lots of gas was actually coming out but that's not even the case. Just the pain of it. It feels like a bowling ball rolling through my intestinal tract!
I forgot to mention on Monday that I got to meet the ostomy nurses at the hospital and even got free samples, all set up by the cancer navigators at the hospital. I didn't even know we had cancer navigators. It was all rather serendipitous. Monday morning Judy, my supervisor, was helping someone lug a bunch of Christmas decorations onto the elevator, and it happened to be someone who works on our floor who is a "cancer navigator". Judy mentioned me and she gave Judy her card.
So I walked over there Monday to meet them and see what they are all about. They are there to help you navigate through anything related to your being a cancer patient. If you need help with scheduling appointments, getting to appointments, understanding things, financial help and whatnot.
Our conversation led to her asking if I wanted to meet the ostomy nurses on the 5th floor who will be caring for me after my surgery. Sure! So I got a tour, got to meet and talk with them, pick their brains with all my questions. They said they never get patients who are so interested and proactive. I told them it's all I do, sit and think about everything. The more informed I am, the better I feel.
So that's how I got the ostomy bag samples. They are a lot cooler than I thought they'd be. Well, as far as an ostomy bag can be cool. There will be a ring which sticks to my abdomen and then a bag with an interlocking ring which snaps into place with the other one, ensuring no leaking and no odor. Good. Let's hope. They also are not see-through. I don't know why anyone would want a see-through ostomy bag.
I've been Googling everything I can about stomas, ostomies, the supplies, how to care for them, what to eat, what not to eat. The stoma looks really disgusting, like a little creature. Eeesh! I am SO GRATEFUL that there are people willing to post photos and videos of their stomas and ostomy bags so that people like me can study how to deal with it and to feel more comfortable about it. But I don't think I will be one of those people.
Everyone has been saying about my cancer blog that I'm kind of overly detailed and open and very personal about sharing everything I'm going through. Well heck, I won't blow your mind then with sharing photos and videos of what's coming next week!
Trust me, even I don't want to see it. And I usually love this kind of stuff. Maybe I should take a picture of my belly (to keep to myself) so I can remember what my Me looks like now. Soon there'll be a new Me with a very red creature rearing it's pulsating head out of my tummy.
Think about it....it's your small intestine turned inside out, bulging about an inch out of your abdomen. If you know me at all, you know I get the major heebie jeebies from all things dismembered or dislocated. Like contortionists. I can't stand that. I can't watch movies like Saw. Even sword swallowing, tattoos, and body piercings creep me out. It's just not natural. Even viral videos of little kids with their first loose tooth getting creatively pulled out just makes me cringe.
There was a horror movie from when my kids were little. I can't remember the name of it, but this guy could use mental power to detach his hands and then mentally control them to crawl around and break into places or attack women as they slept. God, I had such nightmares from that. Abby was just around 2 and unfortunately for her she slept in our bed that night. In the middle of the night she turned so that the three of us were making an H, with her legs on my legs.
All I know is I suddenly thought something was crawling up my leg. I reached under the covers and grabbed it, pulled it straight up in the air and yelled, "I got it, I got it! Kill it before it gets away!" Yeah, it was bad. My daughter screamed bloody murder, and rightfully so. My husband flew out of bed to turn on the lights and yelled, "What in the hell are you doing?" as I stood there on the bed holding our daughter upside down by the ankle. It was all that stupid horror movie's fault! I really, really, really get psychologically creeped out by body parts not being in their right place.
To quote Harry's nasty, fat Uncle Vernon, "No post on Sunday!"
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