My stoma makes little noises sometimes.  Gas.  But the bags come with filters to release the gas but not the odor so the bag doesn't fill up with air all the time.  The bags are odor proof and leak proof, and so far I have not had an explosion of contents.  But I do, however, empty my bag many, many times a day.  With an ileostomy you're putting out waste pretty regularly.  Every time you eat, it's not long before something's coming out.  

The only time I've had a mishap was once when I was wearing tight sweatpants and went to pull them down to go pee.  The elastic waistband caught on the coupling holding the bag onto the skin barrier and pulled them apart the bag ripped off and I had little splatters of poo on my clothes, the bag, the floor.

Usually when I'm emptying the bag or changing the barrier there's no odor of the contents but it really depends on what I've been eating.  I've been keeping a log of what I eat and what kind of output it produces.

Here are some details you might not want to know about:  Egg salad comes out smelling like really smelly egg salad and you can see bits of eggs in your pouch.  Sesame seeds come out whole, and so do the soft seeds inside cucumbers and grapefruit, and the beans inside green beans. Greasy food produces really greasy output.  The fat from meat smells the worst and makes output yellow.  Tomato sauce makes output black.  Antibiotics make it green.  Usually it's a normal brown color.  Mine is normally a good thicker consistency, but if I eat too much then digestion is slower and my output is really watery for a while.  "Boost" drinks come out nearly as fast as you can drink one and is very runny, but if you eat some cornflakes beforehand it will come out thicker.  Spinach comes out as spinach and so do the green beans.  I think these two things don't get digested at all.  Same for pickles, onions, and green chilies.  I've seen them all in my bag.  I can't have popcorn  I've avoided corn completely because it's a huge blockage risk.  So are gummy bears apparently.  I can't have salads.  I'm not supposed to have raw fruits and vegetables or anything with a peel.  Cabbage, even cooked, is bad and that means Brussels sprouts too.  No grapes or raisins.  Oh, and fish comes out smelling like fish.  But boy those fish tacos we had at the mall one night sure were worth it.

And that reminds me.  That was the night someone hit my car.  We were sitting at a red light and Abby noticed the car in front of us was rolling backward.  I hit the horn but he just rolled back into me.  Didn't hit me incredibly hard of course but I was so pissed off.  I'm glad he pulled his car over instead of leaving once the light changed, but my kids were already taking pictures of his car and plates with their cell phones.  First I wished I had had the presence of mind to try and turn the car to the side but I didn't have time, and then Abby pointed out the obvious…that he just would have ended up hitting the side of the car instead and that would be worse.  "That's what the bumper is for, Mom, to take the impact."  She's so smart.

That's exactly what the appraiser said when I took my car in the other day.  Very minor damage, only cosmetic, and she suggested I just take the check.  $405!  Not bad.  I figured it didn't make sense to use the money for cosmetic repair of my bumper when I know my car has one stuck window, one stuck sliding door, and I need something called a brake fluid exchange or something like that.  My car is like my teeth, only little fixes here and there.  Can't afford to do everything at once, but by the time you get one thing fixed then something is in need of repair.  Oh well.