Saturday, October 25, 2014
THIS WEEK'S UPDATES
I didn't take daily notes this entire week so it's a blur now. I've been packing, selling my furniture, taking emails and calls about the rental house and setting up showings, and trying to keep the house presentable while doing it all. It's weird not having my couch to sit on. I was really gonna miss my little house but with all this chaos I'm just eager to get out now. I'm so tired, but on the other hand all this physical activity is great for my diabetes and blood pressure, not to mention the good brain chemicals. I actually feel pretty good, aside from being wiped out each evening.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
7th DAY OF RADIATION
Friday October 3, 2014
I really had my mind set on getting a lot of packing done today but I ended up being extremely dizzy all day long. Each time I got up and walked, the room would spin and I'd have to stand still and hold onto something until it subsided. I wonder if it's the Xeloda pills? I also noticed that the pills are making my mouth feel so dry. It lasts for several hours and then goes away, but by then it's time to take the second set. I take two pills in the morning and two in the evening. I think those are the only side effects I'm having right now.
My radiation treatment today went fine, didn't take too long. Another friend came by this afternoon to buy my Elliptical Trainer and my 9-foot Christmas tree. I'm trying to sell all the things that I can't take with me when we move. Plus I could use the extra money. She liked them but couldn't get them into her car and planned to come back on Saturday with her dad's truck.
I noticed that I've hit my out-of-pocket maximum on my health insurance. Too bad this cancer didn't get caught earlier in the year for that reason alone! But I'm calculating the days of my treatment and seeing that it's definitely feasible for me to have my colon surgery before the end of the year. With 28 doses of radiation, then waiting 6 weeks, that puts me at December 15th. If I can get the surgery before the new year at least it will be paid for! I hate that insurance always changes with the new year. And as usual, premiums are going up, co-pays are going up, and deductibles and out-of-pocket maximums are going up. It's so unfair. It makes it so you can never get much advantage. By the time you're close, it's the end of the year. And the raise I make each year gets eaten up by the increase in my insurance premium! It's so frustrating. I am definitely going to talk to all my docs on my cancer team and make sure they get me scheduled for surgery and out of the hospital before the end of the year.
I really had my mind set on getting a lot of packing done today but I ended up being extremely dizzy all day long. Each time I got up and walked, the room would spin and I'd have to stand still and hold onto something until it subsided. I wonder if it's the Xeloda pills? I also noticed that the pills are making my mouth feel so dry. It lasts for several hours and then goes away, but by then it's time to take the second set. I take two pills in the morning and two in the evening. I think those are the only side effects I'm having right now.
My radiation treatment today went fine, didn't take too long. Another friend came by this afternoon to buy my Elliptical Trainer and my 9-foot Christmas tree. I'm trying to sell all the things that I can't take with me when we move. Plus I could use the extra money. She liked them but couldn't get them into her car and planned to come back on Saturday with her dad's truck.
I noticed that I've hit my out-of-pocket maximum on my health insurance. Too bad this cancer didn't get caught earlier in the year for that reason alone! But I'm calculating the days of my treatment and seeing that it's definitely feasible for me to have my colon surgery before the end of the year. With 28 doses of radiation, then waiting 6 weeks, that puts me at December 15th. If I can get the surgery before the new year at least it will be paid for! I hate that insurance always changes with the new year. And as usual, premiums are going up, co-pays are going up, and deductibles and out-of-pocket maximums are going up. It's so unfair. It makes it so you can never get much advantage. By the time you're close, it's the end of the year. And the raise I make each year gets eaten up by the increase in my insurance premium! It's so frustrating. I am definitely going to talk to all my docs on my cancer team and make sure they get me scheduled for surgery and out of the hospital before the end of the year.
6th DAY OF RADIATION
Thursday October 2, 2014
It was another busy and overwhelming day. It's been like that the last two weeks since I decided to move. Having all these appointments, trying to pack, working full time, and keeping the house in show-home appearance has all been so overwhelming. I haven't had time to adequately take care of myself, but on the other hand it's been nice to be busy and focus on things that I can get done and can control. I still feel a lot of relief now that my chemo and radiation are underway because it lets me know that we're doing something about the cancer. The wait is the hard part. This long process ahead of me is hard too. But I'm keeping my focus on the end result.
So today I had to take my mom to the hospital so she could have a bronchoscopy. Her doc had incidentally found a spot in her left lung this summer while she was in the hospital having her hip replaced. Then he found another spot. Last week she had a PET-CT which lit up and now she was to have this bronchoscopy. I picked her up at 7:30 in the morning and got her to the hospital. Then I drove back home to get the kids to school. Abby's a senior in high school and David a freshman in college. I like to joke with my kids all the time. I teased them at the beginning of the school year by saying, "Hey Abby, you're finally higher than David. You're a senior and he's only a Freshman. And guess what? You and Grandma now have something in common!" Ha ha. (One thing I really want to aim for soon is getting the kids a car. It's getting to be too much for me to be driving all over the place every day).
So I got the kids to school and then came back home to take a shower. I had time to do a little straightening up of the house and a little packing, but then I had to head back to the hospital. I had arranged to move my radiation appointment for 10:45 am instead of 1:45 pm, so that afterwards I could just go pick up Mom. Her bronchoscopy was supposed to be done around 11:00 am.
My radiation appointment went fine, didn't take too long, and I wasn't uncomfortable. I still didn't have any more abdominal pain. When I went to find Mom they couldn't locate her! It took about 20 minutes before they finally realized where she was. She was doing great after her procedure and was able to be taken home at about 11:45. I took her back to my house and she laid on the couch and watched TV and doze. I had to pick up Abby from school at 2:30. An old friend was coming by to take a look at the house at 3:30 because she and her husband are looking for a place to rent. By 4 pm it was time to go pick up David from college. On the way back we took Mom home since she was feeling better and wanted to be in her own home.
The kids and I stopped at King Soopers to get dinner makings. I was craving making bacon cheeseburgers so that's what we did. It really hit the spot. I know I shouldn't be eating a big meal but I really love food and have been food-deprived for a couple months now. It really was a good burger. The kids and I didn't get any more packing done that day. Days like this with all this running around, I just can't get anything accomplished that I need to.
It was another busy and overwhelming day. It's been like that the last two weeks since I decided to move. Having all these appointments, trying to pack, working full time, and keeping the house in show-home appearance has all been so overwhelming. I haven't had time to adequately take care of myself, but on the other hand it's been nice to be busy and focus on things that I can get done and can control. I still feel a lot of relief now that my chemo and radiation are underway because it lets me know that we're doing something about the cancer. The wait is the hard part. This long process ahead of me is hard too. But I'm keeping my focus on the end result.
So today I had to take my mom to the hospital so she could have a bronchoscopy. Her doc had incidentally found a spot in her left lung this summer while she was in the hospital having her hip replaced. Then he found another spot. Last week she had a PET-CT which lit up and now she was to have this bronchoscopy. I picked her up at 7:30 in the morning and got her to the hospital. Then I drove back home to get the kids to school. Abby's a senior in high school and David a freshman in college. I like to joke with my kids all the time. I teased them at the beginning of the school year by saying, "Hey Abby, you're finally higher than David. You're a senior and he's only a Freshman. And guess what? You and Grandma now have something in common!" Ha ha. (One thing I really want to aim for soon is getting the kids a car. It's getting to be too much for me to be driving all over the place every day).
So I got the kids to school and then came back home to take a shower. I had time to do a little straightening up of the house and a little packing, but then I had to head back to the hospital. I had arranged to move my radiation appointment for 10:45 am instead of 1:45 pm, so that afterwards I could just go pick up Mom. Her bronchoscopy was supposed to be done around 11:00 am.
My radiation appointment went fine, didn't take too long, and I wasn't uncomfortable. I still didn't have any more abdominal pain. When I went to find Mom they couldn't locate her! It took about 20 minutes before they finally realized where she was. She was doing great after her procedure and was able to be taken home at about 11:45. I took her back to my house and she laid on the couch and watched TV and doze. I had to pick up Abby from school at 2:30. An old friend was coming by to take a look at the house at 3:30 because she and her husband are looking for a place to rent. By 4 pm it was time to go pick up David from college. On the way back we took Mom home since she was feeling better and wanted to be in her own home.
The kids and I stopped at King Soopers to get dinner makings. I was craving making bacon cheeseburgers so that's what we did. It really hit the spot. I know I shouldn't be eating a big meal but I really love food and have been food-deprived for a couple months now. It really was a good burger. The kids and I didn't get any more packing done that day. Days like this with all this running around, I just can't get anything accomplished that I need to.
5th DAY OF RADIATION
Wednesday October 1, 2014
My radiation appointment wasn't as long today. One of the nurses let me know that each week I'd need to go get lab work done so they could keep an eye on my blood counts, and that I could do it whenever was convenient for me. I decided that Tuesdays would be my lab days.
They also had me meet with my radiation oncologist doc after my appointment and he said he'd meet with me each Wednesday to see how I'm doing. He said the results of my ultrasound were all clear, nothing to worry about. So that was good. I let him know I'd been having abdominal pain, but that I'd also been eating more normal since I started feeling better last week. He said it's still a little too early for it to be due to the radiation yet, but that in time I would be feeling more pain because of it. We talked about my slowed bowel movements and how that was likely causing me pain because of how large the tumor is and taking up a lot of room in there. I told him I'd been using Miralax and that it helped, and he said to continue doing that. I didn't have as much pain today. He gave me a pep talk and said that I was doing great so far. WEIGHT 139.7
My radiation appointment wasn't as long today. One of the nurses let me know that each week I'd need to go get lab work done so they could keep an eye on my blood counts, and that I could do it whenever was convenient for me. I decided that Tuesdays would be my lab days.
They also had me meet with my radiation oncologist doc after my appointment and he said he'd meet with me each Wednesday to see how I'm doing. He said the results of my ultrasound were all clear, nothing to worry about. So that was good. I let him know I'd been having abdominal pain, but that I'd also been eating more normal since I started feeling better last week. He said it's still a little too early for it to be due to the radiation yet, but that in time I would be feeling more pain because of it. We talked about my slowed bowel movements and how that was likely causing me pain because of how large the tumor is and taking up a lot of room in there. I told him I'd been using Miralax and that it helped, and he said to continue doing that. I didn't have as much pain today. He gave me a pep talk and said that I was doing great so far. WEIGHT 139.7
4th DAY OF RADIATION
Today is Tuesday September 30, 2014. I had my radiation at my normal scheduled time today, 1:45. I like that because I get to leave work early and just go home afterwards. They called me in right as I got there today but my appointment took a little longer than usual because they wanted to do some more x-rays. Tuesdays will be x-ray days.
For some reason they didn't have me positioned exactly correctly and they had to stop the machine and come in and reposition me. A few minutes after starting again, they stopped, came back in, and then repositioned me again. Finally it was correct and the machine went through its rounds and finished with me. But the whole process of x-rays plus all the extra repositionings made it extra long. I didn't get out of there until 2:20. That was a really long time to be laying in that uncomfortable position.
On the drive home my abdomen started really hurting. It was a pain I'd never had before. There was just this generalized ache in my entire abdomen, not like I felt as if I'd be sick but just an icky feeling. All I wanted to do was go home and lie down. But I had to pick up Abby from high school. Then we stopped by home so I could grab the child support check to deposit. We drove to the bank, and I took out my rent payment (hopefully my last rent payment since we will be moving in October!). Then we had to drop off a couple of David's rented college books at the UPS store. Then over to King Soopers to get a few things. Then up to the college to pick up David. Then home. I got dinner into the oven and then noticed I had a message from a pharmacy in Boulder saying that they were working with my insurance to get something approved. I called my oncologist's office to ask if that was about my chemo pills, the Xeloda. I was told that they were having trouble getting my insurance to approve and cover the pills, but that they were working on it. "Don't worry, we'll fix this. They can't deny this, you need it, so we'll get this straightened out. I'll call you in a few days." After that I had to get all the set-up for giving David a hair cut. I've been cutting his hair for years now, saves me a lot of money. And I do a really great job!
By the time I got done with David's head and beard my gut was hurting so badly I could barely walk, but a mom's work is never done. I am always happy to be taking care of my kids. That's what I'm here for. So finally around 5:30 I got to just sit on the couch with a heating pad on my belly.
For some reason they didn't have me positioned exactly correctly and they had to stop the machine and come in and reposition me. A few minutes after starting again, they stopped, came back in, and then repositioned me again. Finally it was correct and the machine went through its rounds and finished with me. But the whole process of x-rays plus all the extra repositionings made it extra long. I didn't get out of there until 2:20. That was a really long time to be laying in that uncomfortable position.
On the drive home my abdomen started really hurting. It was a pain I'd never had before. There was just this generalized ache in my entire abdomen, not like I felt as if I'd be sick but just an icky feeling. All I wanted to do was go home and lie down. But I had to pick up Abby from high school. Then we stopped by home so I could grab the child support check to deposit. We drove to the bank, and I took out my rent payment (hopefully my last rent payment since we will be moving in October!). Then we had to drop off a couple of David's rented college books at the UPS store. Then over to King Soopers to get a few things. Then up to the college to pick up David. Then home. I got dinner into the oven and then noticed I had a message from a pharmacy in Boulder saying that they were working with my insurance to get something approved. I called my oncologist's office to ask if that was about my chemo pills, the Xeloda. I was told that they were having trouble getting my insurance to approve and cover the pills, but that they were working on it. "Don't worry, we'll fix this. They can't deny this, you need it, so we'll get this straightened out. I'll call you in a few days." After that I had to get all the set-up for giving David a hair cut. I've been cutting his hair for years now, saves me a lot of money. And I do a really great job!
By the time I got done with David's head and beard my gut was hurting so badly I could barely walk, but a mom's work is never done. I am always happy to be taking care of my kids. That's what I'm here for. So finally around 5:30 I got to just sit on the couch with a heating pad on my belly.
3rd DAY OF RADIATION
Today is Monday, September 29, 2014. I don't have radiation on the weekends, so that's why today is my third dose, but I still take the chemo pills. This morning at work I got a call from the radiation department asking if I could come in early today for my treatment because someone else was having a special procedure done before my scheduled time and they thought it might run late. Since I was already scheduled to have the ultrasound (to rule out a possible blood clot) at 10:45, I said I could come in at 10:15.
Lucky for me I have such a great job that they can accommodate me this way. I left my desk at about 10:10 and walked over to the radiation oncology department. They remembered I was uncomfortable before, so today they worked on positioning me better. It was just a matter of moving the face rest so that it wasn't pressing on my throat. Having it press on my cheeks is only slightly better. It's just not a comfortable nor natural position to be in. My arms have to be raised forward and there's an open space below the face rest where my hands can sit. But the table I lay on is so hard. There's a hard board running under my shoulders and collar bone, and then one under my pelvic bones. But all in all, today was much better.
After my radiation I got to meet with a dietitian and she said we'd meet every Monday. She asked how I was feeling and I told her I'd been having a lot of stomach pain, where it feels like everything just closed shop and stopped working in there. I told her I had only been eating one small meal a day. She said she wanted me to try eating little snacks throughout the day instead of even a small meal, and she gave me a list of healthy snack ideas.
After that I walked through the hospital over to Registration and sat and waited for my ultrasound. There was a middle-aged man in a wheelchair also waiting. He made a comment about a couple little girls who were running around, something like he was enjoying their energy. I got up and sat next to him so I could hear him better and because he looked like a nice person to talk to. I figured we could chat. And we did. He was instantly warm and friendly and we chatted about why we were each there. He gave me a pep talk, the usual I get from everybody, that I'm young and will be able to beat my cancer.
Then he said, "You also have three people watching over you." No wonder I had a feeling I would like talking to him. I said, "Are you psychic?" And he said yes, he was a psychic medium. I told him that I too am psychic and have been studying my own abilities for years now. I said to him, "You know, I've had psychic awareness of other medical issues with me but I never had any idea that I had cancer. Out of all them this was the biggest and I can't believe I didn't know it." He said maybe it was because those incidents were not life threatening, and that he never could get psychic information on himself, only other people. I guess I know what he means. At first I was so angry about having cancer and afraid of dying young. I couldn't believe that that was what was meant for me. In the first few days after my diagnosis I learned it doesn't have to be that way because my cancer was not only treatable but also curable. I quickly made peace within myself about it. For whatever reason, this is what I'm going through right now in my life. Instead of placing my conscious focus in a state of anger and worry, I've switched gears to focusing on the here and now. Whatever I gotta do to get through this. That's my focus.
I asked him what he meant that there were three people watching over me, and he began to tell me that one of them was my great great grandmother. Just then one of the registration people came over to call him into the office, and I said, "Wait! I want to still talk with you. Do you have an email address?" And he said it for me and I went to the registration desk to borrow a pen to write it down. That was pretty neat, running into someone with my abilities. People don't normally just talk so openly that way.
My ultrasound experience was relaxing. Got to lay on a table in a semi-dark room while the technician rubbed the transducer up and down my leg with all that gel. I could have gone to sleep! Even though she tucked a towel around my undies to keep them from getting gel on them, I was left with splooges of gel on them. I walked back toward my office and stopped in the restroom to try to clean up a little bit.
Lucky for me I have such a great job that they can accommodate me this way. I left my desk at about 10:10 and walked over to the radiation oncology department. They remembered I was uncomfortable before, so today they worked on positioning me better. It was just a matter of moving the face rest so that it wasn't pressing on my throat. Having it press on my cheeks is only slightly better. It's just not a comfortable nor natural position to be in. My arms have to be raised forward and there's an open space below the face rest where my hands can sit. But the table I lay on is so hard. There's a hard board running under my shoulders and collar bone, and then one under my pelvic bones. But all in all, today was much better.
After my radiation I got to meet with a dietitian and she said we'd meet every Monday. She asked how I was feeling and I told her I'd been having a lot of stomach pain, where it feels like everything just closed shop and stopped working in there. I told her I had only been eating one small meal a day. She said she wanted me to try eating little snacks throughout the day instead of even a small meal, and she gave me a list of healthy snack ideas.
After that I walked through the hospital over to Registration and sat and waited for my ultrasound. There was a middle-aged man in a wheelchair also waiting. He made a comment about a couple little girls who were running around, something like he was enjoying their energy. I got up and sat next to him so I could hear him better and because he looked like a nice person to talk to. I figured we could chat. And we did. He was instantly warm and friendly and we chatted about why we were each there. He gave me a pep talk, the usual I get from everybody, that I'm young and will be able to beat my cancer.
Then he said, "You also have three people watching over you." No wonder I had a feeling I would like talking to him. I said, "Are you psychic?" And he said yes, he was a psychic medium. I told him that I too am psychic and have been studying my own abilities for years now. I said to him, "You know, I've had psychic awareness of other medical issues with me but I never had any idea that I had cancer. Out of all them this was the biggest and I can't believe I didn't know it." He said maybe it was because those incidents were not life threatening, and that he never could get psychic information on himself, only other people. I guess I know what he means. At first I was so angry about having cancer and afraid of dying young. I couldn't believe that that was what was meant for me. In the first few days after my diagnosis I learned it doesn't have to be that way because my cancer was not only treatable but also curable. I quickly made peace within myself about it. For whatever reason, this is what I'm going through right now in my life. Instead of placing my conscious focus in a state of anger and worry, I've switched gears to focusing on the here and now. Whatever I gotta do to get through this. That's my focus.
I asked him what he meant that there were three people watching over me, and he began to tell me that one of them was my great great grandmother. Just then one of the registration people came over to call him into the office, and I said, "Wait! I want to still talk with you. Do you have an email address?" And he said it for me and I went to the registration desk to borrow a pen to write it down. That was pretty neat, running into someone with my abilities. People don't normally just talk so openly that way.
My ultrasound experience was relaxing. Got to lay on a table in a semi-dark room while the technician rubbed the transducer up and down my leg with all that gel. I could have gone to sleep! Even though she tucked a towel around my undies to keep them from getting gel on them, I was left with splooges of gel on them. I walked back toward my office and stopped in the restroom to try to clean up a little bit.
FINALLY TIME FOR SOME UPDATES
It's been a few days since I've updated because I've been so busy with the move. Last week I was off work. Had a few friends show up Saturday, Oct 11, to help and that was awesome. Everything went smoothly and we were done in 6 hours. The rest of that week was spent cleaning my rental house and running back and forth between both houses and trying to get somewhat unpacked, at least enough to get by. I've been stressed out worrying that my landlords won't find a new tenant by the first of November, which will mean I'll have to pay another month's rent. Anyway, I'll do a day-day-day update to get caught up.
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