Today is Monday, September 29, 2014. I don't have radiation on the weekends, so that's why today is my third dose, but I still take the chemo pills. This morning at work I got a call from the radiation department asking if I could come in early today for my treatment because someone else was having a special procedure done before my scheduled time and they thought it might run late. Since I was already scheduled to have the ultrasound (to rule out a possible blood clot) at 10:45, I said I could come in at 10:15.
Lucky for me I have such a great job that they can accommodate me this way. I left my desk at about 10:10 and walked over to the radiation oncology department. They remembered I was uncomfortable before, so today they worked on positioning me better. It was just a matter of moving the face rest so that it wasn't pressing on my throat. Having it press on my cheeks is only slightly better. It's just not a comfortable nor natural position to be in. My arms have to be raised forward and there's an open space below the face rest where my hands can sit. But the table I lay on is so hard. There's a hard board running under my shoulders and collar bone, and then one under my pelvic bones. But all in all, today was much better.
After my radiation I got to meet with a dietitian and she said we'd meet every Monday. She asked how I was feeling and I told her I'd been having a lot of stomach pain, where it feels like everything just closed shop and stopped working in there. I told her I had only been eating one small meal a day. She said she wanted me to try eating little snacks throughout the day instead of even a small meal, and she gave me a list of healthy snack ideas.
After that I walked through the hospital over to Registration and sat and waited for my ultrasound. There was a middle-aged man in a wheelchair also waiting. He made a comment about a couple little girls who were running around, something like he was enjoying their energy. I got up and sat next to him so I could hear him better and because he looked like a nice person to talk to. I figured we could chat. And we did. He was instantly warm and friendly and we chatted about why we were each there. He gave me a pep talk, the usual I get from everybody, that I'm young and will be able to beat my cancer.
Then he said, "You also have three people watching over you." No wonder I had a feeling I would like talking to him. I said, "Are you psychic?" And he said yes, he was a psychic medium. I told him that I too am psychic and have been studying my own abilities for years now. I said to him, "You know, I've had psychic awareness of other medical issues with me but I never had any idea that I had cancer. Out of all them this was the biggest and I can't believe I didn't know it." He said maybe it was because those incidents were not life threatening, and that he never could get psychic information on himself, only other people. I guess I know what he means. At first I was so angry about having cancer and afraid of dying young. I couldn't believe that that was what was meant for me. In the first few days after my diagnosis I learned it doesn't have to be that way because my cancer was not only treatable but also curable. I quickly made peace within myself about it. For whatever reason, this is what I'm going through right now in my life. Instead of placing my conscious focus in a state of anger and worry, I've switched gears to focusing on the here and now. Whatever I gotta do to get through this. That's my focus.
I asked him what he meant that there were three people watching over me, and he began to tell me that one of them was my great great grandmother. Just then one of the registration people came over to call him into the office, and I said, "Wait! I want to still talk with you. Do you have an email address?" And he said it for me and I went to the registration desk to borrow a pen to write it down. That was pretty neat, running into someone with my abilities. People don't normally just talk so openly that way.
My ultrasound experience was relaxing. Got to lay on a table in a semi-dark room while the technician rubbed the transducer up and down my leg with all that gel. I could have gone to sleep! Even though she tucked a towel around my undies to keep them from getting gel on them, I was left with splooges of gel on them. I walked back toward my office and stopped in the restroom to try to clean up a little bit.
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